Monday, March 26, 2012

Decisions, Decisions.

Haha, I am back! After blogging on and off for a few years, I am hoping that the third time is the charm and I will actually stick with it. I stopped previously, because I really didn't think I had anything substantial to write; essentially I am a high schooler whose biggest dilemma is not understanding Gr. 12 Chemistry homework. Not exactly the most riveting topic.

But now I have reached a moment where suddenly my life has purpose; or more purpose than it had. I figured I should share the news in a format more personal than a Facebook status.

So, what have I been up to lately?

Well, if you did not already figure it out, I am a grade twelve student or a 'senior'. Yah, that's right: GRADE TWELVE. Essentially, that means I will be going on 18 in the very, very, very, near future, I can drive and hold down a job. Ha ha haaaaa? Whaaaat?
How am I not a little girl anymore?

For the past couple of months I have been struggling with this fact. I can guarantee you that I have had many a "WHEN THE HECK DID THAT HAPPEN?" moments because I have no idea where the time has gone. Suddenly being a grade twelve means that I have been faced with an onslaught of life changing dilemmas over the past year. Now, I know; you think I am being all dramatic when I say 'life changing'. But I am literally not joking. Every single decision I have made has intertwined together to bring me to where I am at this point. It's quite amazing when you think about it. One simple 'Yes' or 'No', no matter what the circumstance, has a domino affect on the rest of your decisions afterwards.

"But Becky, what do you mean?" you ask.

In September 2011, I went on a fantastic trip to Ottawa. I met a great group of youth, got travel experience and managed to successfully fall behind in school at the start of the semester. As a result, I needed to make a choice: either go on the final choir retreat of my life, or concentrate on school. For anyone that knows me, you can guess which one I chose.

I have always been hard on myself academically and this year has been no different. I placed my school work first and foremost. However, it's been a deep inner struggle for me. I strive to achieve at least an 85% average, but it constantly seemed I was stuck between hanging out with friends or tackling another assignment. I would always chose school, then get frustrated when I spent so much time on an assignment and get 60/100. I don't think many people realize, how much of myself I put in every, single assignment, test. For exams, each student gets 3 hours and I work until the final minute, flipping furiously through pages of an English novel or in the memory files in my brain. After my English final, my teacher joked that she never, ever had a student with such a high work ethic. I wasn't sure if I should feel complimented or insulted. But I realized that she is right. If I didn't work as hard as I did, I know that I wouldn't feel like I did my best. Thankfully it paid off, my final grades for last semester were:
English - 92%
Writers Craft - 88%
World History - 89%
Individuals in a Diverse Society - 89%

Not the 90's I would like, but close enough to get early acceptance to University.

Through my academic struggle, it dawned on me. I needed to find balance. So I started volunteering more and long story short, my help with my church youth group made me co-chair of the youth fundraising team, something that looked fabulous on my scholarship applications.

All in all, in a few months, I will be graduating and entering a new phase in my life. I am not legally considered an 'adult' yet, but the past few months has definitely made me into a more mature individual. I have come to terms that I will and always be that girl who doesn't follow the norm and doesn't want to. While everyone is partying, I will be the 'lame' one, who chooses to study instead. I will be the one that over analyses things to the point of insanity. And I AM OK with that.

Thus being said, I finally get to announce my news; this decision, unlike the past ones in my life was not difficult. I pretty much knew from the start which University I would choose; I just needed a nudge in the right direction. I got that last Saturday, at an Open House. After leaving the event with my Mom, I knew 100% I was choosing the right post-secondary institution for me. My confirmation of acceptance has just been finalized so here you go, my final decision that will take me from a youth to an adult:


Emily said...

You are so mature and smart, and yet not "lame" as you described yourself! :P

Congratulations on getting accepted and on making a decision of where to go!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Becky,
LOVED your post....your humor, your forthrightness and your cheerful heart. I know those each are hard-won.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you are seeking b-a-l-a-n-c-e. THAT is awesome (and something it takes many adults decade-upon-decade to figure out!) I was a work-a-holic and had ZERO clue how important it was to take good care of myself. Glad you're exploring that early on...and know enough about yourself to know that good work ethics are PART of that "taking good care" AND that there are other things important too, like play and volunteering.

I love all the photos you chose to share. And I love that you "get it" that growing up is a process....and we're always learning/growing/changing no matter WHAT age.

Thanks for being the incredible person you are.

Much Love & Warm Support flowing steadily your way